I’ve been basking in the happiness and blessings God has showered upon our family of four with the move and transition to our new home and ministry. The countless unknowns are becoming revealed and are better than we could have ever imagined – special people, places and spaces God has put into our lives.
Within this blanket of joy, there are a few threads of sadness. Yesterday, unrolled one of them for me. Our two children and I went to our new amazing public library to apply for library cards and check out books. What to many is a simple, innocent question spiraled inside me, gushing with internal tears. As I inquired about the library card application process, the librarian asked “Who are these kids?” It was was a dart to my heart. I quickly responded, “my children.” She was extremely helpful, but the hurt lingered on.
After we completed the information for each of us online, we submitted our computer generated account number to a different librarian at the front desk to get our library cards. As I gave her the information, she asked, “Are these kids related to you?” I understand that we are in a new culture and environment, but it still hurts. Perhaps there is a softer way to ask the question, “Are these your children?” or “Do these cute children belong to you?”
My kids were so excited to have their own library cards again and almost ran to the children’s section to pick out many books they were able to check out themselves. My heart was full of joy watching their excitement, thanking God for the gift of these two precious souls in my life, yet the heartache remains. Time to pray and dig into Scripture.
Many things in this life are bittersweet. Prayer and faith in Jesus are the only way through it. Being barren isn’t something that simply “goes away.” It is tucked away and often comes out when you least expect it. Sometimes it can be when a friend tells you she is having another baby or an innocent question from a stranger. It is something to pray about and remember that God has a plan for you. There is contentment, peace and love through the tears, you just need to be looking in the right direction – at and in Jesus our Savior.
If you or someone you know is touched by barrenness, I recommend the book: He Remembers the Barren by Katie Schuermann.
KNECHTTREK 